Mending Wendy's Heart

No, this isn’t a metaphor for Wendy’s emotions. :-) Wendy literally needs surgery for a “broken” heart! She and two of her three siblings inherited mitral valve prolapse (MVP) from their dad, Conrad DeGroot, who tragically drowned in 1970 at age 36 due to fainting in a hot spring while teaching his son to swim. So while Wendy’s weak valve was discovered when she was one year old, the medical strategy has been to avoid surgery for as long as possible. (MVP means that Wendy’s valve doesn’t close all the way with every heart beat, causing her heart to pump less efficiently. If left uncorrected for too long, her heart could have permanent damage.) After years of receiving annual echocardiograms, Dr. Eric Ernst of U of M Physicians via Fairview Southdale has told us that surgery shouldn’t just happen this year...it should happen this winter!

This column lacks my usual efforts at inspirational insights into youth juggling. However, consider this a warm-up toward a future column (or two) regarding how our bodies are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and that every heartbeat is a gift. Our nervousness for this surgery is eclipsed by our gratitude for her healthy life up to this point and our hope of full restoration. Would you join us in praying for wisdom and skill for her doctors and for patience and recovery for us so that we’ll have many more years together of faithful service to our God, family, company, and community? We’re resting in our Great Physician!

Dependent on God for Every Heartbeat Since 1968,

Paul

Use Well the Days!

While I’m not a strict adherent of New Year’s Resolutions per se, I am an avid year-round goal-setter. Thus, when a close friend recently asked me if I had any resolutions, I replied, “I have updated discipline goals.” In other words, I’m not endeavoring to change any behaviors overnight merely due to the turning of the calendar, but I do use occasions such as New Year’s, my May birthday, and Labor Day (the start of a new school year) to set and revise ongoing and long-term goals.

I referred to J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit in last month’s column, and I’ll now refer to his grander epic The Lord of the Rings for an excellent quote that reflects the purpose behind all resolutions and goal-setting. When Galadriel (an immortal Queen among the Elves) bids farewell to the mortal Aragorn as he begins his 120-year reign as King, she says, “Through darkness you have come to your hope, and have now all your desire. Use well the days!” I interpret these words of Prof. Tolkien to mean that we need to be cognizant daily of how we’re stewarding the time and opportunities given to us during our short time on Earth.

The Apostle Paul delivers an even deeper and more comprehensive admonishment in Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV): “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” The phrase “making the best use of the time” is better translated “redeeming the time,” meaning we’re to impart good in exchange for the evil we find in any situation or relationship. Easier said than done, yes; but I can think of few higher goals than redeeming the time, literally conquering evil with the good done through us.

On the heels of the cinematic release of Les Miserables on Christmas Day last month, I can’t help but hold up Victor Hugo’s character of Jean Valjean as an amazing redeemer of evil times. He exchanged bitterness for joy, hatred for love, thievery for generosity, and self-sufficiency for caring for others. I’m praying that I will be more like Jean Valjean (that is, like Christ, my Redeemer) in 2013 and beyond.

None of us are guaranteed another breath, let alone another week or month or year of normalcy. We don’t know what the future holds. But as we kick off 2013 with all its promise and worries, may we use well the days and redeem the time in ways large and small. May we be found faithful in little things so that we will be entrusted with big things, according to the will and grace of God—who transcends evil times.

An Unexpected Journey

Wendy & I are big BIG fans of J.R.R. Tolkien and his classics The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Although I’m not an avid reader in general, we’ve read (and listened to!) both novels numerous times, and we prioritized a Middle-Earth theme when we built our home theatre, “ArneStar,” in 2004. I even won a costume contest through The Minnesota Orchestra when I dressed up (and acted like) Gimli for “The Lord of the Rings Symphony” in 2006! Needless to say, we’re beside ourselves with excitement about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, to be released in theatres in two weeks. If the Lord wills (James 4:15), our biggest test of fandom will go way beyond seeing the midnight show at 12:01 a.m. on Dec. 14: Wendy & I are saving up for a 20th anniversary adventure to New Zealand to explore the islands where all six films were (and are being) made!

Far beyond this merely being an indulgent column about one of my geeky hobbies, I believe there are many parallels betweeen Bilbo’s adventure and the experience of each Jughead & coach as well as Wendy & me through this company.  Nearly every Jughead starts with an eager (and/or apprehensive) desire to juggle due to a friend, sibling, or a parent prodding him or her, but many unexpected joys and trials ensue over the course of months & years of involvement. For the coaches who were once Jugheads themselves, they’ve had to make the challenging leap from teen to adult authority figure, exercising at a much deeper level the mentorship skills they began honing as student leaders. For Wendy, her journey started by supporting my humble coaching endeavor through childcare in 1994-1998, then helping me launch the business full-time in 1999, then leaving her own career in graphic design in 2004 to more fully dedicate herself to our “hobbit hole” home and our “unexpected party” of a company. For me, I suppose I’d need a whole book to describe how this has been an unexpected journey, but suffice it to say that I especially relate to Bilbo.

I was “nudged out of the door” not by Gandalf, but by God who called me to youth work. I’ve been supported not by a Company of Dwarves, Elves, and other Middle-Earth allies, but families, friends, a school district, and now a church who rents us space.  I am on a quest neither to find treasure in a mountain nor destroy an evil dragon, but to lay up treasures in Heaven and destroy my own sinful tendencies to be selfish and the Captain of My Soul.

Although fictitious, The Hobbit offers many life lessons. The beauty of the real tale of JH is that all members and leaders are simutaneously beneficiaries and benefactors of life lessons learned and taught by and through them. May each person who “dares” to call themselves a Jughead go away positively changed for life, applying the lessons of this adventure to the many stops on “the road” that “goes ever on and on.”

Developing Youth Through Juggling Since 1994,

Coach Paul

Graceful Finishes Build Character

When Billy Watson helped to transform some of our basic coaching techniques beginning in 2004 (while he was still a student!), he introduced to us the idea of short, controlled juggling runs (aka The Pyramid), because the most common drops occur at the beginning or the end of patterns. In a gym with hundreds of props, it’s also important that each Jughead cleans up when finished, rather than carelessly leaving props lying everywhere.

My family really helped to reinforce the virtue of finishing well. When I threatened to quit my 7th grade basketball team due to my coach disciplining me, my brother convinced me to stay, lest I jeopardize any opportunity to play in 8th grade. I didn’t quit, and we won the city championship the next year. By contrast, I did choose to cut short my junior year track season due to my lead in the spring play. My coach used me as an example to the other runners because he appreciated my honorable good-bye rather than walking away without a word. I thrived even more in theatre with closure from the track team and a blessing from my coach.

Here at JH, we try to emphasize follow-through on all commitments, from finishing a snack (I hate wasting food) to finishing a contest (even if in last place) to finishing a school year or season well. I realize that life gets busy and priorities change. If kids drop out suddenly (especially mid-year), the biggest challenges include loss of passing partners and loss of friendships for the fellow members who stay & the coaches who have mentored. At the least, I encourage any Jughead moving on to leave gracefully with a formal good-bye, whether in writing or in person. Only 47 kids in company history graduated rather than quit, so the latter is the norm. How one moves on, however, is still an important way—perhaps the last way—that youth are developed through juggling. Finish well, for character’s sake!

The Value of a Service

We live in a service-oriented society. Car maintenance, haircuts, and financial/legal services come to mind as common areas where people hire out needed work. Then there’s the recreational services common in our culture such as music lessons, exercise classes, karate schools...and juggling clubs. I’ve observed that the prevalence of services to middle class America has skyrocketed in the past 20 years or so. While not everyone can afford all the services our society has to offer, nearly everyone chooses to afford some services.

Some services are critical: if the furnace goes out, it needs to be fixed. Others are negotiable: my sister, Jean, has saved hundreds each year by cutting her sons’ hair their whole lives. Some are key for certain times of life but may be short-lived: consider private music lessons and well-intentioned-but-seldom-used gym memberships. Then there are some services that may not be critical, but offer such enrichment to life that they are thought of more as a lifestyle than as a conscious expense. It’s just part of the family budget, often as crucial to overall well-being as dental cleanings and oil changes.

 I know that nearly all families choose JH membership for their kids instead of something else. Even if money isn’t an issue, time almost always is. For the vast majority of JH constituents, juggling stays a priority at least year-to-year due to the social, athletic, artistic, and long-term benefits to the childhood and adolescence of each Jughead. In the full swing of our 19th year as a company, I hope that you see the value of this grass roots, tuition-based, optional, extra-curricular youth development service.  One fall session costs more than a year’s worth of typical haircuts, but my continual prayer is that each club day serves toward a lifetime of memories, changed lives, and loving relationships that far exceed that of merely having a busier schedule or lighter pocketbook.

Reflections on 20 Years of Youth Work

In my summer column, I described how God called me away from my planned vocation in talk radio and to the unlikely career of older child care manager, which led to the one-of-a-kind business that I’ve now run for 14 years after leaving Wise Guys in 1998.  But whether going to Wolf Ridge with the Wise Guys, IJA with the Jugheads, or any myriad of experiences in between, youth work has been the calling that ties together the last 20 years, three months, and 11 days of my career.

I’ve had interpersonal fulfillment in youth work too vast to even summarize here, but suffice it to say that my direct experience of making a difference in (many) kids’ lives, and the amazing support from the parents over the years, are major factors keeping me going.  I realize that 20 years really isn’t a big deal from the perspective of a classroom teacher; I respect that profession greatly, and I don’t know that I could have kept up with either those early hours or the perpetual “home-work” had I pursued my thought of teaching high school English.  However, as my job more closely resembles a youth pastor than a teacher, and since the average youth pastor reputedly only lasts about 3-5 years, 20 years is a long haul indeed!

Given my career origins in child care management, I must admit that the term “juggling coach” has always been a little uncomfortable for me, since I have neither formal training nor can I match the skills of Ultimate Club (let alone my coaching staff!).  However, by God’s grace, I do consider myself a “life coach,” and I can think of no greater joy than to comprehensively influence and guide others who seek, or at least are open to, mentorship. 

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve had real desires—and real attempts—to change my vocation since 1992, but I’ve been met with closed doors.  Even when I hired Scott in ‘07, I dreamed of pulling back more and more in order to try out new sidelines.  However, even if my technical skills are lacking and my ego has longed for other forms of talent-based accolades, my passion for youth work has had a 2nd (or 20th?) wind in the last couple of years, and contentment is now more common than elusive for me.

So, I can say after 20 years that despite all of the world-class accolades this company has garnered, juggling is still just a tool—a means to an end—toward true youth development.

Developing Youth Through Juggling Since 1994,

Expect Disappointment

A subtle but clever line in the classic fantasy movie “The Princess Bride” (1987) is delivered by the Spaniard Inigo Montoya who insists that he must know the identity of his swordfight partner, Dread Pirate Roberts.  Roberts’ wry refusal: “Get used to disappointment.”  I often think of this silly but truth-hinting phrase when I either experience disappointment or mentor others who do (and that includes all of us).  Whether failed by circumstances, other people, ourselves, or unrealistic (or even realistic) expectations, disappointment is simply a fact of life.  However, the truth is in the phrase, “get used to...”  That implies expect it, but it need not imply “stop trying” or “give up one’s goals & dreams.” 

Taking just the realm of the performing arts, I’ve had plenty of stark disappointments since childhood.  But as I’ve learned to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18, NIV), I’ve not merely accepted disappointment; I’ve often (but certainly not always) seen God’s will in my let-downs!  My most significant let-down applicable to this company?  Had I made it past auditions for Disney World or Radio AAHS in 1994, I wouldn’t have stayed on at Wise Guys in Edina...which led to my founding of JUGHEADS. 

Give thanks for the “drops” in life.  Don’t cause them, but expect them.  They often lead to wonderful and unexpected recoveries!